Dale Carnegie famously said, "Talk in terms of the other person's interests."
It's simple advice. But in the restaurant industry, it can be transformational.
Restaurants with the strongest cultures, highest guest loyalty, and most stable teams all tend to have a key thread in common:
They lead, serve, and communicate from the other person's perspective.
This principle applies at three critical levels in your restaurant:
- Guest service
- Team leadership
- Staff management and accountability
When you shift from "what we need" to "what they value," everything changes.
1. Service: Guests Don't Care About Your Systems
Guests don't wake up thinking about your food cost percentage.
They care about:
- Feeling welcomed
- Being understood
- Getting value
- Having an experience worth repeating
Yet many restaurants communicate from their own perspective:
- "We're short-staffed tonight."
- "The kitchen is backed up."
- "That's our policy."
- "We can't do that."
Those statements may be true. But they're internally focused.
Talking in terms of the guest's interests sounds different:
- "I want to make sure you have a great experience tonight."
- "Let me check what we can do to make that work for you."
- "I understand that timing is important, we'll prioritize your order."
- "Here's what I recommend based on what you said you're in the mood for."
That shift creates emotional connection.
Example:
A guest asks for a substitution that isn't standard. A policy-focused server says, "We don't do that."
An interest-focused server says, "I see why that would make it better for you. Let me check with the kitchen and see what we can do."
Same situation. Completely different experience.
When servers talk in terms of the guest's interests, average check increases naturally. Upselling feels like guidance instead of pressure. Complaints become conversations instead of confrontations.
Service improves not because scripts are forced, but because empathy drives communication.
2. Leadership: Your Team Doesn't Care About Your Stress
Operators often communicate in terms of what they need:
- "We need to hit our numbers."
- "We need better ticket times."
- "We need labor under control."
- "We need more energy."
Those are legitimate business concerns.
But your staff is asking a different question:
"What does this mean for me?"
Talking in terms of your team's interests reframes leadership:
Instead of: